The Anti-Dance Argument

School dances are the rage and have been since prom and homecoming were invented. If you know me personally at all, then you know my personal opinion over school dances, and if you’re confused, I hate school dances. I understand the excitement behind dressing up, having a good time with a significant other, and feeling magical; however, I see a downfall to these ravenous school dances.

I’m providing two types of arguments; a practical and an impractical argument. While I have several valid arguments as to why you will never see me at a dance, I also am viewing this in my humor and satire ways. So mini disclaimer folks, the impractical arguments are satire. If you don’t know what satire is, it is “smart people sarcasm”. Please enjoy and have a laugh. Don’t take this seriously.

Practical Arguments:

1. Expenses: Dances can be very expensive. The best looking dresses and suits are highly expensive and don’t get me started on photos, dinner, and corsages. All of these essential dance things can rack up in money; which high schoolers don’t really have.

2. Staying up late: Dance hours can be long. While some dances allow you to leave if you want, our school’s boat prom does not allow that accessibility to students. Emergency situations could come up and “parking” a boat takes some time.

3. Lots of people and big crowds: Big crowds in a small, enclosed area generally are the calling for a disaster to happen. A fire could always break out or a fight could break out. It’s also extremely crowded, you’re too close to people, and it’d be hard to get around.

Impractical Arguments:

1. Germs: Do you people even think about how many germs you are contracting just being in school on a daily basis? Could you imagine that in a confined boat? Gross!

2. Being close to people: Why on earth would I want to be next to you people? No thank you.

3. Sensory overload: I’m sure I’m not the only person who struggles with getting overloaded with noise or lights. Why those people still go to dances, I’m not quite sure.

4. Battle of Appointments: It’s a pain for girls to get their nails and hair done easily through appointments because everyone swarms to do it all the same day or weekend. Which isn’t necessarily their fault, it’s just annoying.